Monday, September 25, 2006
The Things You Said
I ended up catching this week's game at my new favorite bar in Brooklyn, we'll call it the Chicken Coop. One of the bartenders is from Cincy, and even though he doesn't work on Sundays, he's there in his Carson jersey every week. Whereas most NYC bars are basically frathouses on Sunday during the NFL season, the Coop is more like a social experiment. There's about 10 to 20 neighborhood guys there every week who run the gamut of New York stereotypes; old Italians, Latino gamblers, and some Hasidic Jews thrown in for good measure. The Coop is one of those places that has signs posted (like "No Smoking" and "All beverages must be consumed on the premises") that have no bearing on the reality of what happens there. There more like guidelines actually. Last week I smoked half a pack of cigarrettes and took a margarita across the street after the game. This week a couple of Steelers fans made their way to the bar; a young couple and a guy we'll just call Kid Rock. The game started off terribly for the Bengals, the Steelers drive down the field and take an early 7-0 lead. And the Steeler fans are cheering....loudly. I fucking hate Steelers fans. Another good thing about the Coop is that they serve Budweiser in 32 ounce styrofoam cups, so even if you're football team is being torn to shit, you can always get hammered on the cheap. And get hammered I did. On styrofoam beer #3 (that's about 80 ounces down the pike), the Bengals scored 14 points in 50 seconds. There had been a little back and forth between the two factions before then, and the Steelers fans had really gotten under my skin (not that it would've taken much at that point). I'll just give you a quick sample of some things I was shouting around this time in the game:
"OH, I'M SO SORRY YOU THOUGHT THAT WAS A RUN PLAY TROY. OH NO, THAT'S WHAT WE CALL A PLAY FAKE, AND A TOUCHDOWN. EAT IT BITCHES"
(in response to a Steeler fan whining that Housh pushed a Steeler db in the back on a TD catch) "No, he didn't touch him. He's just a better football player actually. Look at that, that is soooo pretty. TJ is great."
(As Triumph) "HEY...COWHER....YOU SUCK!"
"Hey Kid Rock, shouldn't you be watching the Lions game?"
"OH NO, CLIGGETY COLCLOUGH, YOU CAN'T CATCH THE FOOTBALL? WE'LL JUST HAVE TO TAKE IT THEN."
"C'mon Ben, throw us one more pick and we've got this game locked up"
"WHO-DEY BITCHES, WHO-DEY!"
And finally, after the game when a Steeler's fan started waving his Super Bowl terrible towel in my face, "SCOREBOARD! SCOREBOARD!"
Yes, booze and football is still a magic combination.
Be back soon with my recommendations on keeping the Bengals out of jail.